Yes, everyone of course can hear because how we hear only reflects in truth that our ears are working. Hearing and listening really are vastly different in the actions involved.
How one must listen is clearly dependent on the effort one happens to put in. If one only heard, instead of listening in thought and action, we dont give the respect the person communicating deserves. Often people listen just to perhaps appear to be doing so to be part of the group. It is here that possibly you clearly become aware of how little people actually listen even missing important points communicated.
Only in people listening is experience heard. Else what is heard is only different kinds of sounds with the real meaning and intent lost totally. Thinking about what is of interest and importance understandably disappears. This affects relationships. That ability to listen has undergone a sea change in recent times. This life skill that helped early humans survive is one that is finding it hard to survive itself. Past experiences fully forgotten.
It is often found, in how totally obsessed with speaking and giving one’s opinions in every situation and on every topic, people are, on social media. Every person is interested to speak at length about themselves, but when it comes to watching, listening or reading, it is advised to make shorter reels, posts with minimal content and we also keep getting reminded of how people are reading lesser and lesser.
Often giving instructions is becoming such a tedious process because people need them repeated or they miss out very important points and end up making mistakes.
To simply follow they would need to listen, connect and then respond. However rather than slowing to follow the sequence in our rush to get done, the done strategy often is to respond first without taking the time to listen. With our need to project ourselves continuously through various social media sites, this decline in our listening skills gets more visibility. Think how ironic it is please. The reason for this decline in listening skills is majorly because of too many distractions like social media, and this gets even more clear through what people put on social media.
Poor listening impacts every area of life and all age groups of people. Students may learn the subject concepts wrong and lose on instances to grow and excel. In a workplace an employee who lacks listening skills could make mistakes, creating big problems for the company or cause losses too. Parents who are not good listeners may not connect and support their child well. Teachers too would have the same problem. People would only find it difficult in following experiences of each other, forming relationships with others, or even living, if they lack good listening skills.
Only some people in every group have the special ability to listen with their full attention. Having lots of distracting things around you or doing many things at the same time could all lead to reduced listening skills.
One of the biggest distractions of the present time is your smartphone and the many apps on it. Too many notification tones, too many updates to catch up on, too many phone calls to answer all adding to our listening quantity.
If the mind is overworked with too many thoughts centred in it, or in only survival mode, the likelihood of having the capacity for anything else, it really becomes minimal. In effect even listening skills are affected. Thing is both mental overload and stress would just make listening much more difficult.
The simplest solution would be to lose your smartphone. Then you would have all the time in the world to acquire more listening skills. However, in our present time losing a phone is not a great practical idea. So, the next best idea would be to reduce the time you spend on your phone.
Keeping the phone and other distractions aside would definitely help. This would help you to focus on people when they speak. No greater respect for the person than this. You place people above everything, certainly respect their thoughts and feelings. Place great value on what they want to share and the time and effort they probably spend on saying things.
That you have to listen to be heard yourself, since, for the answer to be conveyed, the question has to be listened to intently; should always be remembered. Before we ask ourselves whether people understand us, perhaps ask yourself when was the last time I made a person feel heard. The world needs more listening hearts because every relationship, every community, and every lasting change begins with a person willing to listen. When in doubt, listen to your heart, sometimes the voice you need in times of uncertainty is indeed your own.
I come back to where I started. Listening is what the need of the hour is, not hearing. When we truly listen with our whole body and mind, we become more compassionate and kinder – the essence of our human nature.
The art of listening naturally lets us retain and nurture our humanity.
I leave you with this quote from Rumi –
“Since in order to speak, one must first listen, learn to speak by listening.”
Avaz Megaphone is a platform for neurodivergent individuals to express themselves through the written word. We accept opinion pieces, short stories and poetry. Authors of accepted works will receive an honorarium. To make a submission please email us on: collaborate@avazapp.com
WRITTEN BY
Tarun Paul Mathew
Student & Writer
Tarun Paul Mathew is a 20-year-old non-speaking autistic adult from Kochi, India who types to communicate. He is a passionate advocate for the non-speaking autistic community, co-hosts the podcast For What It Tells, and enjoys music, mathematics, and nature. Tarun blogs at tryingtobemetoo.blogspot
He can be reached on Instagram at: happy_maverick_tarun
Listen to his podcast, For What It Tells, on Spotify.
